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Marriage ministry must be intentional and holistic

by: Rebecca Barnes, editor

Editor's Note: Whether you’re an established church looking to refresh your vision for the ministries where you are putting your time, energy and funding, or are a new congregation looking to start a specific ministry, the 101 Ministry series on Church Central is designed to help you insure that healthy church work results in making disciples. Check all the articles in the series for helpful introductions to new ministries or keys to evaluate existing work.

Marriage ministry in healthy churches has become a holistic endeavor to prepare couples for marriage, mentor and guide them through it, and provide support for divorced people and blended families.

Where should a healthy congregation begin in developing a marriage ministry? How should a healthy congregation continue in marriage ministry?

First, a marriage ministry should be intentional. Karl Babb has spent eight years at the Kentucky Baptist Convention working in the area of marriage ministry. He helped to compile a resource booklet "to help our local church leaders think intentionally about what their church should do to establish or continue marriage ministry."

The booklet, which is available as a PDF on the Internet, is a compilation of ideas for everything from pre-marital classes to divorce support groups. It lists resources for all types of marriage ministry.

Start with four targets

According to Babb, finding the right fit for your church starts by considering four broad areas in which healthy marriage ministries should work:

1. Preventive. Work with couples prior to marriage to address issues that may pose challenges in the future.

2. Strengthening. Deal with the actualities of living as husband and wife, mom and dad, by providing skills and insights. This includes financial training, counseling and mentoring work.

3. Redemptive. Help in times of crisis when major issues develop, when there is a strain in the relationship, or when the relationship fails.

4. On mission. Provide an understanding for how a couple and/or family live out their journey with God together. Marriage ministry involves not only emotional and physical intimacy, but spiritual intimacy as well.

Babb says considering all four areas is critical for a successful marriage ministry: "The church I think has a responsibility to think holistically about the ministry it has with couples."

Looking to your community

In starting a marriage ministry, Babb says churches should first look at their own community. Knowing the community will help a church to better understand ministry needs—with marriage and other areas.

Then a church should look at itself, asking: Where is the enthusiasm for marriage ministry among the church leaders and the laity? "Where does their heart beat?" Babb asks.

Perhaps a congregation has married couples interested in mentoring younger couples. One of the resources Babb highlights in the KBC booklet is a Marriage Ministry Training Video called "Marriage Works!" This is a distance learning training program designed to educate and equip lay leaders to offer biblical encouragement to engaged and newlywed couples.

The program is endorsed by the American Association of Christian Counselors. Five training sessions provide the tools needed to effectively recruit, screen, and train mentoring couples. Dr. Les Parrott and Dr. Leslie Parrott of The Center for Relational Development and Zondervan Publishing House compiled this resource.

Spotlight on marriage

Perhaps a congregation would be served by highlighting marriage one Sunday a year. That happens in many churches the Sunday before Valentine’s Day, which this year fell on  Feb. 11. That day, churches around the nation and world celebrated Covenant Marriage Sunday. However, marriage can be celebrated any Sunday of the year.

The Covenant Marriage Movement offers interested churches a Congregational Kit designed to assist groups in preparing and celebrating a Covenant Marriage Sunday. The kit provides materials for an average-size church to highlight marriage ministry.

These include such books as: "How We Love" by Milan and Kay Yerkovich; "Covenant vs. Contract" by Phil Waugh and Dave Brown; "Blueprints for Marriage" by Johnny Parker; and "The Great Commandment Principle" by David Ferguson. Other materials in the kit include a four CD set, "Return to Intimacy" by Jimmy Evans; four 11-by-17-inch posters; 150 bulletin inserts; a series of sermon outlines; and marriage fact sheets.

The Covenant Marriage Movement also offers resources for churches interested in joining their cause as a marriage-supporting institution. To do so churches must affirm this statement of marriage. Church marriage ministries within the movement center on the principles of implementing a church marriage policy and providing an ongoing ministry to married couples.

Dozens of churches have joined this movement. So have a variety of cooperating ministries, from the Southern Baptist Convention's Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission to Focus on the Family and The Center for Relationship Enrichment.

Determine health of relational ministries

The Center for Relationship Enrichment offers consulting and training services to churches looking to start a marriage ministry. They administer a "Ministry Needs Survey" to determine the health and effectiveness of the relational ministries offered at the church as well as the interests and needs related to marriage and family relationships.

The center also offers consulting to help church leaders develop a three-year ministry plan, including solid biblical and theological foundations for marriage ministry; the role of the church; changes and new programs; development of leadership teams and training; a timetable for implementation; and more.

Dr. Gary Oliver and Dr. Greg Smalley are on the center's staff. They state on their Web site that they are "intent on helping churches develop a theology of marriage and family that informs who they are and what they do and then equips teams of individuals and couples to lead relationship (including marriage and family) initiatives in their own churches."

These are only a few examples of the support available to churches interested in developing marriage ministries. Wherever you start, whatever your needs and interests, finding a vision for your church's marriage ministry will create a ripple effect as strong marriages translate to healthy churches and transformed communities.

Read the rest of Church Central's 101 Ministry Series:

Women’s Ministry
Children’s Ministry
Youth Ministry
Men’s Ministry
Singles Ministry
Family Ministry


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