My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends –
It gives a lovely light!
Edna St. Vincent Millay, "First Fig" from A Few Figs from Thistles (1920)

A friend of mine thought he could conquer the business world by throwing his body and soul at it.

When the challenges increased, he burned his flame hotter, until there was nothing left. He lost his job as well as his marriage. He realized he had been addicted to more than just work, and needed help. It took him a year to recover and find another job. 

The book of Job provides the right perspective on suffering. Job is a selfless man, highly respected and greatly honored. One day, Satan complains that Job is only serving God because of the power and popularity it affords him. The Lord invites Satan to prove his point, and he stirs up a tornado that kills all 10 of Job’s sons and daughters.

Finally, he receives permission to afflict the grieving man with excruciating sores. Job is reduced to the level of a helpless baby. “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,” he says, “and naked I will leave this life” (Job 1:21). He feels like a fraud. His past dignity rivaled that of a king, and now he grovels in the dirt with sores from head to foot. Friends try to offer him consolation, but in the end they blame him for his circumstances. No one knows the real reason for his suffering.

A coworker who sometimes falls prey to depression knows he can come into my office and either vent or sulk, whatever he feels like at the moment. I’m no psychiatrist, but when I ask questions and allow him to talk, he digs out the source of his depression himself. Just sitting in the lions’ den with him helps.

According to the Society for Neuroscience, depression afflicts 18.8 million U.S. adults, representing 10 percent of the country's population over the age of 18. Many depressed leaders resist seeking treatment due to the stigma of weakness.

Tom Johnson, former CEO of CNN, plunged into depression when he lost his job as publisher of the Los Angeles Times in 1989. “So much of my self worth was tied with my position,” he said. “It felt like I was being enveloped in darkness. It was a sense of loss of enthusiasm, a loss of happiness, a significant decline in self worth.” He tried to tough it out but his wife finally drove him to find help. A combination of talk therapy and medication restored Johnson’s mental health.

Everyone is accountable for how they react to pressure and hardship but when my people reach out for help, I must not emulate Job’s friends, who blamed instead of listened. Their cold-hearted advice solved nothing. Though we can’t control most of the forces causing our staff to suffer, we can offer some relief: 

• Show sincere care – Personal attention from someone in authority may be the only safe harbor they’ve got.
• Acknowledge and dispel their pride – They must admit they have a problem they can’t fix on their own.
• Spare the accusations – It’s important to avoid blaming them for their predicament and instead focus on the positives.
• Speak with comfortable candor – The basic premise of “talk therapy” is pulling out deep-set thoughts.
• Direct them to outside help – You’ll probably never uncover all the person’s issues yourself. A professional may need to peel back more of the onion.

And if you’re the one who’s suffering? Remember how down-and-out Job was. He had no more ability to change his circumstances than a newborn baby.

When God finally speaks to him, Job awaits an explanation for his troubles. But the Lord simply reminds him he has no control over his own life, and that God alone knows what tomorrow holds.

In the surprising climax of the book, God rebukes Job’s foolish friends, then prospers him with twice as much wealth as he had before. Over time, he receives a new family of seven sons and three daughters, exactly what he had lost. He lives to see his children to the fourth generation.

Many leaders like Tom Johnson battle depression most of their careers. When we suffer, we would do well to avoid the likes of Job’s well-intended, but foolish, advisors. If any of your people are stumbling under the weight of depression, remember Tom’s wife, who lovingly forced him to admit his helplessness and reach out a trembling hand for help.

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Tom Harper is president of NetWorld Alliance, which publishes www.churchcentral.com and several online news portals in the retail, banking, technology and restaurant industries.

He is author of Leading from the Lions’ Den: Leadership Principles from Every Book of the Bible, (Sept. 2010, B&H Publishing). His Twitter account is @TomRHarper.