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Why Millennials Need Mentoring
When their backs are against the wall, we can teach Millennials how to ask the right questions.
Who are the Millennials?
Millennials (Born 1977-1998 - 75 million) celebrate diversity and assume technology. They spend a good deal of time online, and they are heavy users of tools such as Facebook, Twitter, and blogging platforms. They were raised in the most child-centric time our nation has ever known. For better or for worse, these Millennials were showered with attention from us as friends and family - the Boomers. They are new to the workforce, work well in groups, and often prefer this to individual endeavors. They view institutions as irrelevant.
Why do Millennials need mentoring?
They have learned how to master and maintain a social network online but often unable to follow a healthy relational flight plan. They "toss away" relationships like upgrading for a newer and latest cell phone model. For instance, if their marriage or friendship is struggling, let's say two months in, they are too quick to unwind or untie the commitment they previously made to the other person and find a replacement.
They are definitely in need of mentoring, no matter how tech-savy and confident they are. They lack the structure and stability and struggle to reach deep within themselves. I believe this Millennial behavior stems from their inability to ask the right questions.
What are the right questions Millennials should ask?
Allow me to use a painting metaphor to represent relationships. Let's say that you are a Millennial. You've attended an art gallery and purchased an expensive painting resulting from an impetuous glimpse. You've made the decision, coughed up some cash, and took it home. Two weeks later, however, you decide it's not a particularly attractive painting and questioned..."What was I thinking"? at the time of the purchase.
If you are mentoring a Millennial, first encourage them to take the option of replacement "off the table." Then, ask two mentoring questions applicable to relationship strengthening.
1. What Can I Do To Make This Painting More Sight-Appealing For Me?
Cosider the frame such as a new or different one. Then, consider the room or the wall where the painting could be hung and would be more "sight-appealing" to you. What furniture pieces contribute to the accessibility, viewing and enjoyment of the painting? How can arranging the room (your schedule, your spiritual reading and your theological reflections, opinions, etc.) make a difference? Remember, creativity is a Millennial's participation platform.
Instead of thinking of "tossing" away your spouse or friend, why not list some ways in which you can enhance the relationship to discard biases and pre-conceived notions and structure to your strengths and enjoy the differences, not just the similarities.
2. How Can I Add Value To the Significance of Having A Painting In My Home or Apartment?
Consider who else sees the painting and benefits from it. Children? Spouse? Friends? While most Millennials expect immediate and ongoing feedback, it is equally rewarding for them to give feedback to others. Become comfortable enough in your "own skin" to use a pragmatic approach and enjoy the people who are already in your life by not giving in to the temptation of substitution.
For Reflection:
List some additional questions you can ask to sharpen your mentoring technique for serving and equipping Millennials?
Barry is Founder and President of Ministry Indicators, a consulting group for churches under 1,000 and ready for renaissance. He also serves as a consultant for the Missouri Conference of United Methodist Churches.
Who are the Millennials?
Millennials (Born 1977-1998 - 75 million) celebrate diversity and assume technology. They spend a good deal of time online, and they are heavy users of tools such as Facebook, Twitter, and blogging platforms. They were raised in the most child-centric time our nation has ever known. For better or for worse, these Millennials were showered with attention from us as friends and family - the Boomers. They are new to the workforce, work well in groups, and often prefer this to individual endeavors. They view institutions as irrelevant.
Why do Millennials need mentoring?
They have learned how to master and maintain a social network online but often unable to follow a healthy relational flight plan. They "toss away" relationships like upgrading for a newer and latest cell phone model. For instance, if their marriage or friendship is struggling, let's say two months in, they are too quick to unwind or untie the commitment they previously made to the other person and find a replacement.
They are definitely in need of mentoring, no matter how tech-savy and confident they are. They lack the structure and stability and struggle to reach deep within themselves. I believe this Millennial behavior stems from their inability to ask the right questions.
What are the right questions Millennials should ask?
Allow me to use a painting metaphor to represent relationships. Let's say that you are a Millennial. You've attended an art gallery and purchased an expensive painting resulting from an impetuous glimpse. You've made the decision, coughed up some cash, and took it home. Two weeks later, however, you decide it's not a particularly attractive painting and questioned..."What was I thinking"? at the time of the purchase.
If you are mentoring a Millennial, first encourage them to take the option of replacement "off the table." Then, ask two mentoring questions applicable to relationship strengthening.
1. What Can I Do To Make This Painting More Sight-Appealing For Me?
Cosider the frame such as a new or different one. Then, consider the room or the wall where the painting could be hung and would be more "sight-appealing" to you. What furniture pieces contribute to the accessibility, viewing and enjoyment of the painting? How can arranging the room (your schedule, your spiritual reading and your theological reflections, opinions, etc.) make a difference? Remember, creativity is a Millennial's participation platform.
Instead of thinking of "tossing" away your spouse or friend, why not list some ways in which you can enhance the relationship to discard biases and pre-conceived notions and structure to your strengths and enjoy the differences, not just the similarities.
2. How Can I Add Value To the Significance of Having A Painting In My Home or Apartment?
Consider who else sees the painting and benefits from it. Children? Spouse? Friends? While most Millennials expect immediate and ongoing feedback, it is equally rewarding for them to give feedback to others. Become comfortable enough in your "own skin" to use a pragmatic approach and enjoy the people who are already in your life by not giving in to the temptation of substitution.
For Reflection:
List some additional questions you can ask to sharpen your mentoring technique for serving and equipping Millennials?
Barry is Founder and President of Ministry Indicators, a consulting group for churches under 1,000 and ready for renaissance. He also serves as a consultant for the Missouri Conference of United Methodist Churches.
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