Just got an email response about last week’s church conflict article from "a confused deacon." He describes a common issue in many churches struggling to change and not change at the same time. Here’s what he wrote:

"I read your article on conflict in the church. Our church struggles with conflict between the liberal/progressive vs. traditional worship styles. The church staff is wanting to go the contemporary/ progressive path. The middle-age and senior adults would rather do blended worship with sound Bible-driven preaching. The contemporary movement appears to most to be a watered down (no real commitment, no invitation, secular style teaching) Christianity approach to reaching the lost.
 
If you state your opinion you are labeled as causing conflict or not being a church team player. Church growth is slow, giving is down, deacons are not happy. Our contemporary reboot approach is not working and we are losing faithful tithing church members. What do we do? Need help ..."

--a confused deacon

Anyone else? Any consultants have ideas?

The first thing that came to my mind is a book Church Central reviewed early last year and one that won a prestigious Award of Merit from Christianity Today for the 2009 Book Awards: "Who Stole My Church?" This is the best narrative telling of church conflict I’ve ever come across. And while not obviously practical, the methods the minister in the story uses to keep a conflicted congregation together would easily be adaptable to real-life situations. Primarily he holds meetings with a small hand-picked group to discuss the changes in the church and to disciple these believers as well as honoring them. It is a long, difficult process that eventually leads to growth and change.

It’s a sort of prescriptive memoir from best-selling Christian author and pastor Gordon MacDonald. Here’s some of what I wrote in my review: "As the pastor character, MacDonald leads a potentially fractious group through weeks of meetings in which he reminisces over old hymns, educates members about centuries of church change, diffuses conflicts, counsels over emotional pain, disciples individuals into more active prayer lives, and more. … MacDonald pulls off this attempt to portray what can best be described as hope for churches in conflict."

And: "It is a raw look at the human dynamic involved in removing traditions from the Builder and Boomer generations in order to attract subsequent generations into the Church. It also suggests to pastors that taking time to talk through changes while educating and building relationships with older members can change not only a church, but those members' lives."

I think that is the critical piece of conflict that those embroiled in battles may often miss. Both sides are important and are prime candidates for spiritual growth. Best wishes to you, "Confused Deacon." An outside consultant may be your best resource. Here are some others you may find helpful:

Website-

http://churchconflictforum.org/

Articles –

When is a church consultant worth the money?

Consulting your way out of conflict

Books –

From Cooperation to Competition: Change, Choice, And Conflict in the Congregation
By Lyle E. Schaller

Promise and Peril: Understanding and Managing Change and Conflict in Congregations
By David Brubaker – Coming out this month!