Divorce continues to plague society and the Church. Many born again Christians fare no better than the national average, according to a report released last week by The Barna Group.

It is worth noting that the 33 percent who have been divorced are non-evangelicals. Their rate is identical to all adults in a year-long survey of more than 5,000 adults, which concluded in January.

Born again evangelicals fared better, although their rate of 26 percent is hardly worth shouting about for a group that proclaims Christ has the answers to life's problems.

Rite of passage?

Demographer George Barna, who directed the study, said Americans have grown comfortable with divorce as a natural part of life.

"It is now seen as an unavoidable rite of passage," Barna says. "Interviews with young adults suggest that they want their initial marriage to last, but are not particularly optimistic about that possibility."

"There is also evidence that many young people are moving toward embracing the idea of serial marriage, in which a person gets married two or three times, seeking a different partner for each phase of their adult life."

Such views ought to concern every pastor, for what goes on in society clearly influences those who join congregations.

Living together hazardous

One contributor to high divorce rates is the habit of living together. Evidence shows cohabitating couples' marriages later fall apart at a much higher rate than those who don't cohabit prior to the ceremony.

That insight comes from "Living Together," a new book by Michael and Harriet McManus, founders of the pro-marriage movement, Marriage Savers.

"One of our primary goals is to put a tool into the hands of clergy who feel ill-equipped to address the growing number of cohabitating couple who ask to be married," they write. "Most seminaries do not adequately prepare students to handle this issue. As a result, many pastors are unacquainted with how to deal with cohabitating couples—so they avoid the issue, unwittingly contributing to our nation's high divorce rate."

Marriage Savers has other resources worth checking into, particularly its "Community Marriage Policies." They reportedly have helped lower the divorce in more than 200 cities by an average of 17.5 percent.

Practical steps

Not every pastor is in a position to assemble the broad-based coalition needed to implement a community-wide policy. Yet, there are practical steps that every pastor can take.

Consultant Debbie Rendall of Integrating Focus believes pastors should offer a course in marriage, relationship and communication while helping people understand personality types and interests through existing tests.

She also suggests pastors encourage members to visit websites such as eHarmony to learn more about themselves.

"Pastors should be committed to helping people understand themselves better, get past their emotional baggage and understand their potential for the future," Rendall says.

Consultant Karl Babb, who oversees marriage ministries for the Kentucky Baptist Convention, suggests a number of steps, such as:

• Providing at least three marriage preparation sessions for couples and follow-up sessions during their first year of marriage.
• Establishing a marriage mentoring ministry for nearly and newly-married couples, as well as a prayer ministry for these couples.
• Sponsoring an annual marriage strengthening retreat, workshop or seminar.
• Preaching an annual sermon series on relationships, marriage and family, and offering Bible studies on these topics for youth.
• Providing media resources for individuals, couples and families, such as books, magazines, tapes and videos.

None of this is to say that cutting divorce rates is a simple 1-2-3-step plan. Still, as Marriage Savers' experience shows, with well thought-out steps and a long-term commitment, pastors can make a difference in a bleak scenario.