There are many parts and pieces that make a small group grow. A strong covenant, chemistry among members and a commitment to attend faithfully all contribute to the success of a home fellowship. But one factor common in all groups where there is a life-changing environment is a leader who is living authentically.

Group leadership is challenging and even impossible if the Lord doesn't step in and help us lead. Someone said, "When God measures a man he puts the tape around his heart, not his head."

If you're a leader, you know that if your heart is not in it, the group will not grow and develop. For many of you, I know your heart is in it, but are you living authentically?

Here's what I mean. There is the temptation to wear the "perfect Christian" mask even when we know that we should be authentic and transparent. Brothers and sisters, it's time to lay down the mask and live authentically and humbly before the Lord or our group might not reach the level it should.

If your group prayer requests seem shallow and impersonal, it might be because you (the leader) haven't exposed your own heart to your group members. The currency of a meaningful group experience is the authenticity of the leader to lay himself before God and submit to his will, while serving group members.

Transparency tips for group leaders Pray real-life prayers that openly tell God of your needs. Be honest about the temptation you face. Share your own story. Request help from others when you need it. Admit that you don't have all the answers. Don't be afraid to express your true feelings. Use your own weaknesses to demonstrate God's strength. -- from Elaine Creasman

Recently, I had a defining moment with God. I have been struggling lately with completely surrendering to God and laying down all of the pieces of my life. In more than 25 years of walking with Jesus I had held back a few things that were mine and not his.

After being quite emotional all morning several weeks ago, I got in my truck and headed out for a 70-mile drive. I needed some space and time with God to sort things out. Driving by myself seems to help me.

Would you believe I cried out to Jesus all the way there and all the way back? There were so many tears I called the weather station and put out a flash flood warning on the Interstate. It was pitiful, I haven't cried that hard since my dad died in 1987. God and I wrestled for two hours.

I now know what Romans 8:26 means: "the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." When I pulled into my driveway absolutely exhausted I said "uncle" out loud. You guessed it. God won. (He always wins. I love following a winner!)

I finally let go of some things that have kept me discontent and without a peaceful spirit toward my Heavenly Father. My tearful journey helped me let go and let God have more control. Today, I live more peacefully before the Lord than I have at any other time in my life.

Before you think I'm a big cry baby let me explain. Tears have been therapeutic for me over the years. When I go to the children's hospital and see children struggling with disease I leave with tears in my eyes.

Let me encourage you to get away with your Heavenly Father, to surrender and to cry. Tears heal the soul and allow us to see the plumb line more clearly.

I'm sharing all this to live authentically before those of you reading this article. My encouragement to you whether you are a group leader or a group member, is to live authentically before the Lord and before your group. It is amazing what God will do with the currency of authenticity.