The last chapter of Craig Groeschel's "Confessions of a Pastor" contains a touching scene from one of the small groups at his evangelical church, based in Edmond, Oklahoma.

During a discussion, one man confesses his daily struggle with pornography. After everyone prays for him, a new convert admits she is still earning a living as an exotic dancer. As a single mother who needs a decent income, she feels trapped.

The man who just revealed his porn addition tells her if she quits, they will cover her financially. Three days later a member of the group helps the woman land a new job. Today, she is helping other women escape from the tawdry strip club environment.

More caring needed

As remarkable as that story sounds, expressions of love and caring in the face of such revelations is too often in short supply in churches, a situation that Groeschel attributes to a mixture of influences.

"From a church member's perspective, in some places there's a pressure to really put on an outward appearance of holiness, righteousness and committed Christian living," says Groeschel, who started his ministerial career as a United Methodist associate pastor.

"Sometimes the more legalistic an environment is, the more susceptible a person might be to inauthentic spirituality, rather than saying, ‘Hey, I have a weakness. Would you pray for me?'"

He knows that pastors face similar fears. Some don't want to lose their job. Others don't want parishioners to know they are just as vulnerable as the next person.

Contributing to this "super pastor" status is the pedestal where some members place pastors, an elevated status Groeschel says is easy to accept.

Working at being authentic

In addition, ministry is a place of enormous responsibilities and accompanying loneliness, which Groeschel says can only be overcome by intentionally stepping into others' lives and inviting them into yours.

"I think we have to work harder than most people at making sure we remain authentic," Groeschel says.

The Oklahoma pastor is doing his part with the book that originated with a month-long sermon series several years ago.

Its release this fall marked the end of a road that he began traveling while still an associate pastor and recognizing he was "playing the role" more than living in a close relationship with God.

Part of that habit originated with seminary, where he says students were trained—in unspoken ways—to fit an image: dress the part, never go out in public without "looking pastoral" and sitting on huge chairs placed on high platforms that looked like thrones.

"We prayed more for the benefit of the people than we did for God," he says of his early career days. "Not intentionally, but that's just kind of what we did."

In addition, a professor and mentor advised him (and other students) to never get close to anyone in his congregation.

Mix in some of his insecurities and the desire to be liked by other people and it came out in more of a performance than a walk with God.

Confessing his shortcomings

Groeschel gets past that in print, confessing his struggles with believers' (including his own) hypocritical, judgmental attitudes; sexual purity, doubts with God and personal inadequacies, to name a few.

The e-mails that arrive at his church's web site daily tell him he has struck a chord. Lay members comment that they are going through the same things. Pastors say that Groeschel has revealed the same things they were thinking but never felt the courage to say.

"Some (pastors) say things like, ‘This has sparked a spiritual renewal in my life that's really changed me,'" Groeschel says. "Others have said, ‘I'm going to confess this or that. Have people pray for me.'"

Touching the whole Church

The father of six wrote the book hoping it would impact the entire Church, though, not just pastors.

While admittedly he hopes to encourage pastors to be more authentic, the author wants to help laypersons to "stop playing the game" of a perfect member and instead be exactly who God wants them to be.

Whether pastor or layperson, Groeschel believes honesty is the best policy. For pastors who want to be real but are terrified doing so could cost them their position, he recommends starting with one's spouse. Then, find a friend or two who can be trusted and lay out your burdens.

"Get some practice being real and let someone love you for who you really are, not for the image you portray," Groeschel says. "Then, over time, take some prayerful risks before the church.

"There are some things that shouldn't be public. But, there are some things that—if you are transparent before your congregation—it can be incredibly empowering and life changing for the people sitting there."

Reaping the benefits

Groeschel believes pastors who are honest will reap the benefits of inspiring their congregations to be real, not to mention relieving them of the burden of a perfect image.

That will leave them free to become a fallible person who's been redeemed by Christ and are trying to be more like him.

When one person is transparent, it makes it much easier for others to follow, he says.

"It's funny to me that for whatever reason, it seems like the more honesty there is, the less sin there is," Groeschel says. "The more we put on an air of falsehood, there is a breeding ground for darkness in our hearts that manifests in very dangerous sin."