In the movie, "What Women Want," Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt teamed up for comedic effect under the premise that Gibson's character could suddenly hear women's thoughts. Wouldn't it be great to have that kind of access in your church? 

How revealing it would be to hear what is going on in the minds of church leaders. Since October is Pastor Appreciation Month, let's try to break into the ministry mind and discover what pastors want. I'm wondering whether you are thinking what other pastors are thinking.

Accept me

Research from Focus on the Family revealed that 80 percent of pastors and 84 percent of their spouses live in the relentless state of discouragement. I think much of that that discouragement comes from realizing they will never meet the expectations of the people they serve.

Maybe they don't live the way their critics do or say things the way some people like to hear them. Whatever the criticisms, it is worth remembering that pastors are acceptable to God. He had great joy when he called them to service in the church (Romans 14:4, Galatians 1:15). Church members should remember that the verse, "Accept one another as God in Christ has accepted you" (Romans 15:7), applies to pastors, too.

Honor me

When Paul wrote to Timothy, he said an overseer's position is a beautiful thing (1 Timothy 3:1). The pastoral epistles, First and Second Timothy, and Titus, highlight the noble and privileged calling of the pastoral office. The character, preparation and position of a pastor among believers should foster respect and esteem.

There was a time when people in the United States highly valued the pastoral profession. In some denominational and ethnic circles, they still do. However, too often pastors are considered among the least honorable in the community and in the church. In fact, 70 percent of pastors admit ministry depleted their confidence.

It's time we resurrect the pastor's status. If you are a church leader, you can respect the pastor's calling, office and decisions. Honor pastors and their positions in the ways you treat them in public and how you speak of them in private. Give them the respect they deserve for their education, experience and responsibilities. Esteem them with the salary package you provide. Consider their compensation package first, not last, during budget deliberations.

Follow me

A friend of mine who pastors a church in rural Colorado wrote recently that he felt that leading his flock was like herding fleas across a barnyard with a rake. Leadership is difficult. Pastors are charged with the tremendous responsibility of fulfilling the church's purpose and vision.

Leading requires making plans, taking charge and initiating change, which inevitably draws opposition and criticism. Pastors often have responsibilities beyond their level of authority and are therefore evaluated for results over which they had no influence. It's unrealistic to demand pastors meet expectations that are unstated, understated or just plain out of reach. And it's impossible for pastors to lead people who will not follow.

Hebrews 13:17 states, "Be responsive to your pastoral leaders. Listen to their counsel. They are alert to the condition of your lives and work under the strict supervision of God. Contribute to the joy of their leadership, not its drudgery. Why would you want to make things harder for them?" (The Message). As church leaders, let your pastor know you're behind every God-given direction and vision he or she thinks will reach the most people for Christ and benefit the greater body of Christ around the world. Your pastors will be better leaders if you do.

Pray for me

Every day pastors are on the front line of spiritual battles that will determine the victory or failure of a church's mission. Satan knows if he can immobilize and confuse the leader, the church will lose its focus and impact.

Our enemy's strategy can be minimized by praying that church leaders will be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might and that they will put on the full armor of God. Pray for pastors. If you are a pastor, seek prayer partners.

Love me, my spouse and children

Love is kind, not arrogant. It's patient, not irritable. It doesn't even take into account a wrong suffered. It never gives up or loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.

Just as other people, pastors long for that kind of love. Yet most pastoral families don't feel the love of the people they serve. Four-fifths of pastors reveal pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Forty percent report a serious conflict with someone in their church at least once a month. The same percentage say they have considered leaving their pastorates in the last three months.

Pastor Appreciation Month is an opportunity to demonstrate love. Mobilize your leadership teams to shower your pastors with affection in creative and meaningful ways. Then use this month's celebration as a springboard for encouraging your pastor all year long.

© 2006 Rich Frazer

Statistics are taken from "Pastors at Risk" by H.B. London and "It Only Hurts on Monday" by Gary McIntosh and Robert Edmondson.

Dr. Rich Frazer is President of Spiritual Overseers Service International, a worldwide consulting, equipping, and resourcing ministry that arranges strategic training seminars for national Christian leaders. He can be reached at rich@sosinternational.us.