Although there are many complex factors that affect the unchurched, the people we interviewed were very clear that certain issues of friendliness, cleanliness and comfort directly impacted their decision to attend and join a church. And from their perspective, some of these issues had eternal consequences. Listen to the five top impressions that had an impact on the unchurched.

First Impression #1: Friendliness

Leonard and Connie M. were truly frightened. When they first received word that job relocation to Orlando, Fla., was in the works, they had been very excited.

"Orlando meant sunshine, Disney World, beaches close by, and a fun time," Connie said. But Orlando was a long way from their small hometown in Wisconsin where they had lived all their lives. That reality set in within a few days.

"From dairy farms to Disney World," Leonard said. "Yeah, it seemed great at first. But when we got to Orlando we realized how big this place is. People are so busy too. It was just hard to make friends. We made the effort to introduce ourselves to our neighbors. They were friendly, but everybody was too busy to get involved with others."

The couple had had virtually no church involvement in Wisconsin. They really did not consider visiting churches until Connie discovered a lump in her breast. Connie began to consider, perhaps for the first time, her own mortality. "That was a wake-up call," Connie said. "For the first time we started thinking about a church."

The first church they visited was a Southern Baptist church near their home. By the number of cars they saw at the church, Leonard and Connie could tell a lot was taking place there.

"The people were incredibly friendly," Connie told us. "I felt love all around me the first time we walked in. The people seemed to really care." Connie cannot remember how someone found out about her surgery. She does remember, however, that three women from the church showed up the day of her surgery.

"We've heard about churches where the people are cold and unfriendly. I'm sure glad that wasn't the case at our church," Connie said. "Not only am I okay physically now, but both Leonard and I met Christ at the church. It's amazing what a smile and a kind word did."

In our 353 interviews with the unchurched, 88 percent of the respondents told us that the friendliness of the people was a major attraction to the particular church they joined. Yet friendliness is an intangible issue. Listen to some of the insights we gleaned from the formerly unchurched:

"Most church members believe they are friendly when in reality they are friendly only to others whom they already know,"

"‘Manufactured friendliness' is obvious. You could tell that they were trying to be friendly, like someone told them that they needed to be friendly. It was almost as bad as being unfriendly."

Friendliness of members to non-Christians tends to be correlated to a church's evangelistic effectiveness. Members seem to be enthusiastic about new Christians, which engenders friendliness toward others who are not Christians. Friendly churches are also likely to have friendly pastors. The pastor's modeling of friendliness is critical. A relationship is also apparent between the friendliness of a church and the members' willingness to accept change.

First Impression #2: Nice facilities and adequate space

I expressed initial reticence in reporting that the unchurched said that first impressions were important. I simply resisted the idea that a clean facility could make an eternal difference. But after listening to 353 unchurched persons, and after six years of researching over 2,000 effective evangelistic churches across America, I am the convinced skeptic.

Even with my former reluctance to acknowledge the importance of clean and neat facilities, I confess that I saw that importance in a church where I served as pastor. Every six months I would hire a woman from outside the church to do a thorough examination of our grounds and buildings. (My apologies to men. I tried using men on a few occasions, but all of them were blind to obvious dirtiness and poor facilities.)

We gave the woman a notebook with a page for every room, hallway, foyer, and area of grounds. She would go from area to area taking notes and then report to our staff and key lay leader what she saw. It is amazing how she saw dirtiness, cracked windows, dead bushes, and a plethora of other items that we passed by every day. We were happy to give her a stipend for her few hours of work.

Almost half of the unchurched mentioned something about the grounds or facilities when we inquired about their first impressions of the church. And though some of them may have returned even with negative impressions, it is obvious that these issues were vitally important to many.

First Impression #3: The Nursery/Preschool/Children's Issue

The issue that generated the most intense comments was the cleanliness, neatness and safety of nursery, preschool and children's areas. Of the 161 formerly unchurched who told us that the condition of the facilities was clearly noticed by them, 63 percent volunteered their observations about children's facilities.

Again, our questions were open-ended. No responses were prompted by our research team. The fact that almost one-third of the formerly unchurched volunteered their opinions is significant. While parents with young children were among the most vociferous about quality care for children at church, they were not alone. We heard similar comments from parents with older children, adult children, and no children. It seems that many unchurched people measure the quality of a church by the quality of childcare.

The unchurched told us repeatedly how difficult it was for them to visit a church. And those who had young children were especially sensitive to their kids' needs. Though I knew prior to this study the importance of adequate childcare in churches, I did not realize how deeply emotional this issue was for the unchurched. After hearing the responses of the unchurched, I am no longer surprised that nearly one-third of the respondents commented without prompting about childcare. They raised the following issues:

- Safety is the number one concern.
- Easy accessibility to their children is their second concern.
- The third most frequently expressed concern was the ability to be notified if needed.
- The apparent concern and attitude of adult workers were mentioned next.
- Cleanliness was also mentioned frequently.

Also cited by several of the formerly unchurched was how up-to-date the children's area was. Old furniture, broken toys, worn carpet, and 1980s' baby beds are a sure sign of neglect.

First Impression Issue #4: Organization or Chaos

Charlie R. of central Louisiana told us there were two nondenominational churches in the mid-size Louisiana city. Azalea Community Church was his first visit; the Church of Greensprings was his second.

"Azalea was a mad house," Charlie said. "The service started late, the music was messed up, the person running the sound system was incompetent, and most of the people participating in the leadership of the worship service seemed clueless," he said.

"I visited the Church of Greensprings the next week. What a difference!" Charlie said. "You could tell that everything had been given careful attention. They had both wonderful organization and the opportunity for spontaneity. Yeah, everything was planned, but they were so sincere. You didn't get the impression that they were just performing."

Charlie started attending the Church at Greensprings and eventually accepted Christ. And he was one of several formerly unchurched who told us that one of his first impressions was the organization of the church, particularly the organization and flow of the worship service.

More than 100 of the formerly unchurched noticed the attention churches gave to having a well-planned worship service. These former seekers told us that such attention to detail was an indication that the church was serious about its mission.

"I have been in the corporate world for over 20 years," Charlie said. "I can tell in any company or church if the organization has a sense of purpose. One of the big factors for a church is its worship services, where the most people gather at any one time. If that isn't planned well, you can be sure that the church members do most everything else poorly"

First Impression #5: Greeters and welcome centers

Sam Walton knew his customers' needs and desires. He built Wal-Mart to become one of the world's largest retailers by always seeking to be sensitive to the needs of the consumer. The friendly greeters at the Wal-Mart entrance are but one small part of the legacy of customer orientation he left the company.

Churches do not have to compromise any biblical values to be sensitive to the needs of the unchurched. Greeter ministries in particular can be implemented with relative ease. In nearly one-third of our interviews, the unchurched shared with us positive first impressions of when the church had a good greeter ministry and a welcome center.

One-third of the unchurched told us that they were impressed with a church's greeter ministry or welcome center. A helpful hand, a friendly smile, and good directions can make an eternal difference.