"I am a thirty-two-year-old divorcee," Gina said. "Divorcee" hung in the air with uncertainty. You could tell that Gina was intensely uncomfortable using the word. She was one of the unchurched we interviewed to understand what led her to join a church.

"I was on the top of the world just two years ago," she said. "Mike and I finally had a child. The best days were ahead."

We asked her how she found Lakeview Community Church. "The story is pretty simple," Gina responded. "After Mike left me, I started looking for a church. I asked a lot of people where I could find a church that would take care of Elizabeth. I wasn't about to put my two year-old in an unsafe, unsanitary and uncaring place. Lots of people told me to check out Lakeview."

Gina made the eight-mile journey to Lakeview with trepidation. "Elizabeth is my whole world now. I wanted her to be raised in a religious setting, but I was scared to death."

Her fears proved unfounded. "I was really impressed that they had designated parking for single moms. There were signs that pointed me right to the Wee Care wing at the church. And the moment I entered the building, people were greeting us and helping us," she continued.

"You should see this place. It's cleaner than Disneyland! And it's every bit as attractive as Disneyland. Elizabeth was so excited she tried to run from me to get to one of the rooms with a bunch of toys. And I had thought she would scream when I left!" she said, laughing.

The safety of the preschool ministry really impressed Gina. They required her to complete a form asking questions about Elizabeth's health, allergies and personal preferences. "Then they gave me a personal pager. I really couldn't believe that I was in a church," she exclaimed.

The adults in the worship service were very friendly. The music was contemporary and upbeat. The pastor preached a biblical and relevant message. And when Gina picked up Elizabeth, she found a happy and content two-year-old.

"I was hooked. For the first time since the divorce I began to see a glimmer of hope," she told us.

Gina would soon become a follower of Christ. We asked her when she became a Christian and she remembered the specific moment she prayed to receive Christ in one of the worship services. "But there were so many other factors that moved me closer to accepting Christ. When I prayed to receive Christ, it was the culmination of many events," she said.

"One of the first things I did after I joined the church was to volunteer to work one Sunday a month at Wee Care," she continued. "You know, I now realize I was hell-bound until I came to Lakeview. And I never would have returned to Lakeview without the great ministry of Wee Care." She paused for a moment and then spoke with urgency. "Do you think churches realize that good childcare may make an eternal difference in someone's life? Do they really understand?"

Seeking to impress or to save?

I am amazed by how much the research of the unchurched has changed my perspective. Indeed, every time I have led a research team to investigate a facet of church life, my own paradigm shifts to some degree. This study was no exception. Two issues related to the topic at hand were particularly surprising.

The first issue was that the unchurched were more impacted by their second visit than their first visit. In a technical sense, then, the issue is second impressions rather than first impressions. But unchurched people like Gina may not have returned if the first visit had been negative.

Why did the formerly unchurched tell us that they really noticed the church on a second visit? They were overwhelmed on the first visit, and issues like cleanliness and even friendliness were not as noticeable because they were "on spiritual overload," as one formerly unchurched Alabama man told us.

"God was dealing with me in so many ways," he said. "I couldn't even have told you if the church building was brick or wood that first time."

The second issue that surprised me was the intensity with which the unchurched spoke of their first (or second) impressions of churches. One of our set questions was "What were your initial observations?" Ninety percent of the unchurched indicated that some factor about the people or the facilities impacted their decision to return for another visit. Most of those indicated that their decision to return was made within a few minutes after they arrived at the church.

Consumer mentality or first impression of eternity?

My bias does not want the issue of first impressions to be such a major factor in reaching the unchurched. I am concerned that the consumer mentality is already dominating some churches to the extent that many have moved from being consumer-friendly and seeker-friendly to becoming consumer-driven.

I confess that I certainly do not know where to draw the line. No one will find me arguing against comfortable seating and clean facilities. Bob Russell, the senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Ky., is a stickler about first impressions. And lest you think that a story about one of the largest congregations in America does not relate to your church, he reminds us:

"When I first came to Southeast Christian Church in 1966, people were meeting in the basement of a small house. But the basement was spic and span, the bulletin was printed without typos or grammatical errors, the people were friendly and the worship was well planned and orderly."

When I began to see the first impression issue as one of excellence more than pleasing an insatiable consumer appetite, my perspective changed. And when I hear stories like Gina's, whose eternity was impacted by excellence in facilities and childcare, I am almost convinced of the importance of first (or second) impressions.

"Mediocrity breeds indifference, but quality attracts," Russell also says. "Imagine how much easier evangelism would be if your church services were done with so much excellence that they inspired people to the extent that they couldn't help but tell their friends about their experience."

Pastor Russell is quick to state that the emphasis on excellence is a major part of the remarkable story of Southeast and the tens of thousands who have become Christians in his ministry there. "But why have our people been so bold in inviting their friends and so effective in getting them to come?" he asks rhetorically. "Because they are excited about what they've experienced and are confident that every week the grounds, the nursery, the greeting, the singing and the preaching will be done with excellence."

Okay, I am convinced! With testimonies such as the story of Southeast Christian and the dozens of stories told to us by the formerly unchurched, the evidence is overwhelming: excellence does matter. First impressions are important, because someone's eternity may be in the balance.

What kind of first impressions?

What specific factors are important to the unchurched when they finally choose to visit a church? Statistical graphs and charts do not paint an entirely accurate picture of the importance of each of the first impression issues. For example, the preschool/nursery/children's facility was deemed an important first impression in 36 percent of our interviews. At first glance the relative level of importance may be understated, since only about one-third of the respondents deemed preschool and children's facilities important. But when you consider that only about half of our respondents have young children, the responses of one out of three has a higher impact.

Still one issue of first impression stands clearly above others in importance. The unchurched told us that one of the key reasons for their returning to a particular church was the friendliness of the members.

Next week we will look at the five major issues related to the unchurched and their first impressions of the church.